What is grief?
At Furman, we know that everyone at some point will experience a loss: loss of a loved one, loss from divorce, loss of a job, loss from a move away from home, or loss of good health. It is important to know that grief is individually based and different for every person. There is no single way to grieve. There are no rules or a set timeline when a person will address your emotions. Avoiding the grief process only postpones the healing process. Patience is crucial for the process of grief.
Throughout the healing process, there are emotional, physical and behavioral reactions associated with grief. It is important to give yourself time and patience as these reactions can be triggered at any time.
Grief in Common is a secular grief support group for students struggling with loss. For Fall semester 2024, this group meets on Wednesdays at 4pm in Daniel Chapel Lounge. The group is facilitated by Pam Amatucci, LISW-CP, LCSW, from the Trone Center for Mental Fitness (counseling center), and Alexis Carter Thomas, Associate Chaplain. For more information, please contact [email protected].
How is grief processed?
According to Kübler-Ross, there are five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). Research has taught us that grief is a process; you do not “get over” grief. It is better to think of grief as a journey that never ends but changes and diminishes with work over time. We at Furman encourage both an awareness of needs and an action oriented approach to healing.
If you need to process your grief, consider reaching out to family, friends, professors and RA’s., as well as:
- Dr. Vaughn CroweTipton, University Chaplain, [email protected]
- Rev. Alexis Carter Thomas, Associate Chaplain, [email protected]
- Counseling Services at the Trone Center for Mental Fitness, [email protected], 864-294-3022
- Michelle Wardy, student success, [email protected]
Suggestions for Loved Ones
Acknowledging your friend’s loss can help them in their time of need. The support that is given from friends and family is critical for the grieving process. Here are a few examples of how to better support your friend:
Ways to show you care:
- Say things that can provide comfort and acknowledge your friend’s loss such as: “I don’t know what you are going through, but I am here to listen;” “I am here to listen if you want to talk;” “It is okay to cry, I may cry with you.”
- Mention the person by name who died and share memories that you had with that person.
Things to avoid:
- Saying “I know what you are going through.”
- Avoiding talking about the person who died as it can make your friend feel even more alone.
- Using clichés, as this can minimize the loss and the emotions of the grieving person. Cliches include: “Everything happens for a reason;” “He/she is in a better place now;” “You have an angel in heaven;” “You need to move on.”