Belonging with Bennett

Hello! This blog post is from a Reformed University Ministry (RUF) Intern at Furman University, Bennett Brock.

To clear up questions I get asked a lot: no, I am not a Furman student. Yes, I work at Furman, but I technically work for RUF. No, I am not a volunteer or part-timer, this is my full-time job!  I am grateful for the Office of Spiritual Life’s affiliate program that allows me to serve as a Campus Minister even though I am not official Furman staff.

So, you might be asking yourself, what do I do all day? Now, that is the best question I get asked, and a difficult one to answer. In short, I walk with students at Furman through the joys and sorrows of college life and strive to point them to Jesus and each other. Day-to-day, this looks like lake walks, DH breakfast, coffee chats, DH lunch, library hangouts, DH dinner, and more. My primary task is to pursue freshmen and other students who aren’t connected to RUF or another group on campus and bring them into friendship with Jesus and other students we’re connected to.  I do other things besides meeting with students, but the most meaningful part of my job; and therefore, the most relevant to write about in this blog is getting a front-row seat to the work that God is doing in the lives of people at Furman.

I have been at Furman since August 2024 following my graduation from the University of Georgia (go dawgs). Coming from a big public school where football is worshipped just as much as downtown culture, I spent most of my first semester here acclimating to my new small, purple, liberal arts surroundings. I didn’t know students yet and they didn’t know me, and I stumbled through a few months of finding my place on a campus that felt so unfamiliar. But God didn’t leave me there for too long; after what felt like decades of small talk, I finally started to earn the trust of the guys I was meeting with and understood my role better. Now, I consider it a great privilege to be let in on the lives of so many guys at Furman.

I would love to share a couple reflections on my time here.

First: sometimes, in the midst of great sorrow and suffering, there are no words to say. I love to help people and give advice, and not being able to fix problems is really hard for me to accept. However, I have had to be reminded several times that it is God who is at work through me—not the other way around. He has shown me this by putting me in situations where I am powerless to change someone’s circumstances or attitude, and all I can do is pray for them. But this prayer should not be a last resort. I am learning that if I really believe that I serve a loving God who listens to His children, then my first response should be to ask Him to work in ways that I cannot. As image-bearers of the triune God, we have a great power in us to be instruments of healing for our neighbors; but that power comes from God, not from us.

I have noticed how many students I talk to who just want to feel wanted. I think the Furman Admissions office does a great job of making prospective students feel wanted, but once they get here, they still have to find a place to belong. I have been blown away by the amount of people who are still friends with the first people they met on campus in O-groups or scholarship camps. As humans, our need for connection and belonging is such a strong motivator that many people jump on the first opportunity to form a group even if they don’t have much in common with its members. Don’t get me wrong, I think diversity in friendships is one of Furman’s greatest strengths. But what I’ve seen happen is that people can go through four years of college without really connecting with anyone long-term because they spent all their energy on surface-level friends. On top of that, the people who don’t click with their hallmates or first-semester classmates feel left behind, and that everyone else is already grouped up.

In our digital age, genuine connection with like-minded people is more important than ever. So, how do we get it? I think a good first step is to acknowledge our innate need for intimacy in friendships because we were created that way. God is three-in-one, which means we were made to reflect the image of a relational, self-giving, and encouraging Creator. To be a good friend, you must know that you also need good friends. Admitting your need is scary, but I have seen it open the door to authentic connection. But we can’t stop there. It is essential to our survival that we never stop looking outward for those who have been left behind. If you’re someone who is connected to a group, think about who could benefit from an invitation. And if you’re someone who feels like you’re the only one who can’t find friends or doesn’t belong here or doesn’t know where your life is going, I promise you that you are not alone in that. You are wanted and loved by God, and I pray that someone shows that to you.

I am so grateful for all of the students who have let me be a small part of their stories. Keep seeking God’s face! “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart,” (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV).