Opening Convocation address by Cynthia King

Opening Convocation 2023
Address by Cynthia King, associate dean for diversity, equity and inclusive excellence

Class of 2027! Welcome to Furman.

You represent a global community of rich, diverse backgrounds, cultural traditions, experiences and strengths of mind, body and heart. This is a community where all students, regardless of background, have equal voice and equal power. I challenge you to claim your power: the power to learn, the power to make mistakes, the power to succeed, the power to raise your voices in dissent, if necessary, but equally the power to love each other as fellow humans and members of this global Furman community.

Let me say, that Furman faculty and staff are excited to teach you, support you, and cheer you on through this part of your journey. And this is a privilege we do not take for granted.

In 2016 James R. Ryan, Dean of the Harvard Graduate School of Education delivered a commencement address that went viral. In his address, Dr. Ryan shared Five Essential Questions that he said you should regularly ask yourself. He claims that doing so gives you a greater chance of living a successful and happy life.

For the next few minutes, I’m going to use his questions but with some key differences. While his speech was concluding the college experience – this one is welcoming you to your college experience. While his questions were about life’s journey this one is specifically for your journey at this university as you engage with others with different ideas and even opposing views. I hope this twist on Dean Ryan’s questions encourages you to be intentional about expanding your view of world, considering new ideas and perspectives, learning to navigate conversations about difficult issues with confidence and compassion.

The first question is: “Wait, what?” Dean Ryan rightly points out that this question is at the root of all understanding. But “Wait, what?” can also be a sign of an emotional trigger that really means, “Did you say what I think you said?” or “Did you really say that?” Several years ago, I triggered my students’ emotions when I made the mistake of assigning a take-home quiz… due the Monday after Homecoming Weekend. When I made the assignment, they were like, “Wait, what?” “Dr. King, you expect us to do WHAT? On Homecoming Weekend?” “Dr. King, are you crazy?” While they didn’t call me crazy, but they might have thought it.

In this situation, the question “Wait, what?”  was a sign of their alarm.

When in an alarmed state, our brains launch into predicting what’s going to happen and protecting us from perceived threats. My students clearly saw my assignment as a threat to their plans for fun and even their grade. After the festivities of Homecoming Weekend, they risked not submitting their best work.

Triggers happen frequently in conversations about divisive socio political issues with people who think differently than we do. Depending on the situation, “Wait, what?” could mean:

• You think what?
• You believe OR
• don’t believe in what?
• You watch what news show?
• You support what?
• or You support who?

Such questions can cause a spiral of stress that provokes us into fight, flight or freeze modes. You either want to lash out, flee from the conversation, or you freeze where you remain in the conversation but your heart and mind are closed and no true understanding is achieved.

Let me make clear that it’s OK to remove yourself from situations where you feel physically and psychologically unsafe.  But when you find yourself fleeing all the time, where there is not immediate danger, you might not be unsafe, just uncomfortable. Fortunately, at Furman we have classes and resources that help you identify the difference.

When these triggers happen, consider pushing through the “Wait, what?” and move on to “I wonder why…?” which is the second question.

Dean Ryan stated that “I wonder” is the heart of all curiosity, and I agree. Additionally, “I wonder” reflects an uncertainty and humility that is the perfect condition for learning. It means “I don’t know, but I want to know,” or “I don’t understand, but I truly want to understand.” So, let’s lean into “I wonder” and dare to be curious instead of getting stuck in “Wait, what?”

The third question is: “Can’t we at least… ?” which I would alter a bit to “Can’t we at least agree to… ?” This is foundational to for healthy community conversations.

Let’s face it, community is not always a lovefest. There can be deep disagreements. But it’s how we talk to each other about these disagreements that defines us as a community. One way is to agree about how we plan to disagree. Here are some principles to consider:

1. Can’t we at least agree that all people hold a special value that’s tied solely to their humanity, regardless of ability, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual identity, identity expression, national origin, age, and belief about religion? Your generation has a head start on this. Thank you.
2. Can’t we at least agree to challenge a person’s ideas but avoid attacking the person?
3. Can’t we agree to prioritize truly listening even though we may never feel the same way about an issue?
4. Can’t we agree to respect and defend the rights of individuals to challenge positions, sometimes vigorously and even collectively in protest, though always peacefully?

But all of these require moving past the trigger spiral of “Wait, what?” to be genuinely and humbly curious about a view different from our own.

The fourth question is: “How can I help?” Having been here since 2006, I can say that Furman has a culture of helpfulness. We help each other. A helpful culture creates an environment where we can disagree and not resent each other.  This culture of help also makes asking for help when you need it easier.

I fold in Dr. Ryan’s fifth question, “What really matters?” into his final bonus question, “And did you get what you wanted out of life, even so?” Of course, our question is, “And did you get what you wanted out of Furman, even so?” “Even so” means despite some of the inevitable challenges of living and learning at a rigorous liberal arts university, did you get all you needed and hoped for? Of course, you can’t answer this question because. you just arrived. And you won’t be able to answer that question until May of 2027 or possibly 2037.   

My final point is that to take full advantage of the rich diversity of cultures and ideas here requires moving past knee-jerk reactions of “Wait, what?” to the lean into the humility and curiosity of  “I wonder” and to look for common ground by asking, “Can’t we at least agree to… ?” and helping others, while also being sure to ask for help when you need it. B

Again, welcome to Furman, Class of 2027!