Binion is a big fan of the show because the characters \u2013 Lasso, Coach Beard, Roy, Rebecca, Keeley, Jamie and others \u2013 are so much like us. \u201cThey\u2019re complicated, flawed people who are doing the best they can with what they have,\u201d Binion said.<\/p>\n
![\"A](\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\")
Ted is hurt, he won’t admit it, and he fears conflict, Furman assistant professor of psychology Grace Binion said. Image from Apple TV+.<\/p><\/div>\n
DBT seems perfectly suited for Ted and Nate. The techniques \u201chelp people navigate really big emotions and interpersonal challenges,\u201d Binion said. It\u2019s helpful for a range of mental health problems, from borderline personality disorder to depression and anxiety. It takes about a year to work through DBT systematically, so we know Dr. Sharon Fieldstone didn\u2019t practice it, although she might have employed some of the four elements.<\/p>\n
The first step in DBT is mindfulness, becoming aware of what\u2019s going on inside you and around you. Like Ted recognizing his panic attacks. Nate doesn\u2019t seem to have a lot of mindfulness.<\/p>\n
The second step is distress tolerance to respond to really, really big emotions. Rebecca telling Ted to breathe through a panic attack is a good example.<\/p>\n
Next is regulating emotions, keeping good emotions while reducing negative thoughts. We saw Ted almost slide into a panic attack, but he was able to stop the skid.<\/p>\n
Finally, DBT teaches interpersonal effectiveness skills to help people build stable relationships and end destructive ones.<\/p>\n
Ted and Nate are both hurt, Binion said. And Sassy was right, Ted\u2019s a mess.<\/p>\n
Ted\u2019s dad\u2019s suicide when Ted was 13 could mean that the coach is more susceptible to depression. How his family handled the suicide also affected him. \u201cHe might have fallen into being peoples\u2019 comforter, cheerleader, rather than being focused on his own experiences,\u201d Binion said. \u201cTed might worry that acknowledging scary emotions, things like panic or sadness or anger, might mean that he could be overcome by them and would end up like his dad, because he hasn\u2019t seen a model for how to regulate big scary feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ted keeps things light with jokes and puns. He\u2019s afraid to go deep or be vulnerable. \u201cIt seems like he\u2019s really afraid of conflict. He wants things to be good, and he struggles when things aren\u2019t good,\u201d Binion said.<\/p>\n
His divorce is fine. Missing his son is fine. His ex-wife dating their marriage counselor, also fine. Nate hating him and saying nasty things about him, that\u2019s OK, too.<\/p>\n
Nate doesn\u2019t know how to get what he needs: love and respect.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf your dad or mom is constantly shutting you down and telling you to stop asking for what you need, you\u2019re not going to get practice doing that, and then you\u2019re going to show up in the world without the skill you need to navigate that space,\u201d Binion said.<\/p>\n
Nate\u2019s dad is a piece of work, but Ted showed Nate love and respect from the beginning. Until Ted hired Roy as a coach, then Nate started getting jealous of the attention and recognition others received, which he felt he deserved.<\/p>\n
Nate has a difficult time asking for the respect and love he needs, Furman assistant professor of psychology Grace Binion said. Image from Apple TV+.<\/p><\/div>\n
\u201cI see Nate as trying so hard to be respected,\u201d Binion said. \u201cHe just doesn\u2019t have the skills to do that in a way that doesn\u2019t hurt people. He explodes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nate even had a hard time asking Jade out, although he\u2019s been mooning over her for episodes. \u201cNate wants certainty. It\u2019s so stressful for him. He needs a lot of coaching and support to be able to do it. But it highlights that even asking for something small is hard for him. Even in a position of power, it\u2019s still hard for him to ask for what he wants or what he needs.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nate was lured by Rupert, the scoundrel (to be kind), by power, but mostly by recognition, something Nate wasn\u2019t able to ask Ted for.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing honest in interpersonal relationships is a huge part of the message of Ted Lasso,\u201d Binion said.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing honest and fair to yourself and others, setting boundaries when appropriate and being vulnerable at other times, not always does that work out in a way that feels good, but more often than not, it works out in a way that you feel better about yourself,\u201d Binion said.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve seen hints of a rapprochement between Ted and Nate. Binion hopes for something less than a Hollywood ending tied with a bow. If they came back together and acted like nothing were ever wrong, that wouldn\u2019t be genuine, she said. But seeing each character admit to the other that they\u2019ve been hurt, that would depict real emotional growth.<\/p>\n
If you feel like Ted or Nate, or Roy or Rebecca, and want to try DBT, Binion suggests searching for a therapist near you who is certified in DBT. Ask if group therapy and phone coaching are available. There are also popular manuals and books that a therapist can work through with you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ted Lasso and Nate Shelley have a complicated relationship on the show Ted Lasso. Grace Binion, assistant professor of psychology at Furman, breaks down their issues and says therapy can help. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":389,"featured_media":25168,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[206,2048,2049],"class_list":["post-25163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","tag-psychology","tag-ted-lasso","tag-therapy"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/389"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25163"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25163\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36061,"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25163\/revisions\/36061"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25163"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25163"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/218\/2023\/04\/Ted_Lasso_Ted-only-cropped.jpg\")
![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/218\/2023\/04\/Ted_Lasso_Nate-at-Mirror-cropped.jpg\")