{"id":1369,"date":"2025-03-03T02:23:22","date_gmt":"2025-03-03T02:23:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/academics\/tocqueville-program\/?post_type=furman-update&p=1369"},"modified":"2025-07-29T19:46:47","modified_gmt":"2025-07-29T19:46:47","slug":"summary-of-brad-wilcox-mammon-or-marriage-how-to-maximize-happiness-in-life-and-love-tocqueville-center-event-on-the-american-family-pt-1","status":"publish","type":"furman-update","link":"https:\/\/www.furman.edu\/academics\/tocqueville-program\/lectures\/summary-of-brad-wilcox-mammon-or-marriage-how-to-maximize-happiness-in-life-and-love-tocqueville-center-event-on-the-american-family-pt-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Lecture Summary: Brad Wilcox, \u201cMammon or Marriage: How to Maximize Happiness in Life and Love\u201c: Tocqueville Center Event on the American Family, Pt. 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Tocqueville Center for the Study of Democracy and Society recently hosted its fourth event of the year, focusing on the evolving dynamics of marriage and family in America. The discussion, led by sociology professor Brad Wilcox (University of Virginia), whose most recent book is Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization<\/a>, delved into how cultural shifts, rising individualism, and the role of religion are shaping contemporary marriages and attitudes. A panel discussion following the talk featured\u00a0Franklin Ellis (Associate Dean & Director of the CIC) and David Fleming (Politics & International Affairs).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A video recording of the entire event, “Mammon or Marriage: How to Maximize Happiness in Life and Love”, is available to watch here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The speaker portion of Pt. 2, “The American Family. Discuss.” is available here:<\/p>\n

“The American Family. Discuss.” Watch here!\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Cover<\/p>\n

Addressing Key Issues in Society<\/b><\/h3>\n

Brent Nelson, interim director of the Tocqueville Center, opened the event by highlighting the center\u2019s mission to explore fundamental political, economic, and social issues in the United States. Nelson encouraged student participation in the Tocqueville Fellows program, an initiative aimed at engaging young minds with influential thinkers and scholars, and announced a $1 million gift to support its continued success.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Brent<\/p>\n

Alexis de Tocqueville\u2019s observations on the American family and marriage were particularly relevant to the event’s theme. Nelson noted that Tocqueville had a high regard for the American family as a cornerstone of equality and social stability, and marveled at the respect given to marriage in the U.S. The evening\u2019s talk explored whether this respect for marriage that Tocqueville observed on his travels through America in 1831 still held true in modern American society.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Sociologist Brad Wilcox, Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia<\/b><\/h3>\n

Visiting speaker Brad Wilcox, a leading sociologist and director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, has extensive experience studying marriage and family dynamics, particularly focusing on the effects of stable families on individuals and society. He is also a fellow at the American Enterprise Institute and the Institute for Family Studies. Wilcox\u2019s research has been published in academic journals and mainstream media outlets, and he has authored and co-authored several books, including <\/span>Get Married: Why Americans Should Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization.<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How marriage can maximize happiness in life<\/b><\/h3>\n

Wilc<\/span>\"Bradox began his talk with a personal story suggested by his wife, Danielle. He shared the ancient Greek myth of King Midas, who wished for everything he touched to turn to gold. Initially delighted with his newfound power, Midas soon found himself cursed by his own greed. His meals turned to gold, and tragically, his daughter, whom he loved dearly, was turned into a golden statue when she kissed him. Midas realized too late that his desire for wealth and power had ruined his life. Wilcox used this fable to highlight the dangers of pursuing material wealth and success at the expense of what truly matters\u2014human relationships and the things that bring lasting happiness, such as love and marriage.<\/p>\n

This story set the tone for Wilcox\u2019s broader discussion of the role of marriage in contemporary American society. He suggested that, like Midas, many people in modern society were fixated on material success and individual achievement, which often led to emptiness and dissatisfaction. Men and women on the right and the left are encouraged to pursue careers and money whild staying single and childless. In contrast, Wilcox argued, strong marriages provide a foundation for happiness, fulfillment, and social stability.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cthings like education, work, and money matter, but marriage outpaces education work and money when it comes to happiness in America, and in fact nothing compares to a good marriage<\/strong> when it comes to predicting happiness in America\u201d<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"Brad

Brad Wilcox presenting at the Tocqueville Center event on “The American Family”<\/p><\/div>\n

Wilcox’s presentation emphasized the importance of family structure in promoting well-being, particularly for children. He noted that children raised in stable, two-parent households tended to fare better academically, emotionally, and socially than those raised in single-parent households. Furthermore, he stressed that marriage, as an institution, benefited not only individuals but also society as a whole, contributing to lower crime rates, better economic outcomes, and healthier communities.<\/span><\/p>\n

Women, Fulfillment, and Marriage Trends<\/b><\/h3>\n

Wilcox explored the modern narrative surrounding women\u2019s fulfillment as one of his central themes. The discussion pointed to a societal shift where personal financial independence and leisure are increasingly perceived as more fulfilling than traditional family roles. Mainstream media portrays marriage and family life as secondary to personal ambition, with critics arguing that such messaging diminishes the value of long-term commitment. Similarly, men and women are also being influenced by figures such as Andrew Tate and Pearl Davis, who advocate wealth and self-reliance over marriage and family.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Tocqueville<\/h3>\n

Contrasting Views on Marriage and Family<\/b><\/h3>\n

Wilcox introduced three pillar variables to measure marital success: communion, commitment, and community.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Marital Communion: Successful marriages share the burdens and responsibilities of life<\/span><\/h4>\n

While elite opinions often emphasize personal achievement and autonomy, successful couples appear to thrive by adopting a more collective approach to finances and responsibilities. A case study of a couple, JN and Maria, illustrated the benefits of financial unity in marriage, challenging the prevailing notion that individualism leads to greater fulfillment.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Role of Religion and Community Support<\/span><\/h4>\n

Religious practice and community engagement were highlighted as factors contributing to marital success. Empirical research suggests that regular church attendance correlates with higher happiness levels and lower divorce rates. Women who actively participate in religious communities reportedly experience stronger marital stability and satisfaction. Moreover, contrary to common stereotypes, religious couples also report greater sexual fulfillment in their marriages.<\/span><\/p>\n

Commitment: The Evolution of Family Structures<\/span><\/h4>\n

The conversation then turned to historical shifts in American family life, noting the transition from collectivist family values in the 1950s and 1960s to a more individualistic outlook in the 1970s. Factors such as changing divorce laws and declining religious influence were cited as contributors to this transformation. Notably, despite these societal changes, conservative ideological beliefs continue to be strong predictors of marriage stability and happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Risk-Taking and Modern Dating Culture<\/b><\/h3>\n

\"Panelists<\/p>\n

A significant portion of the discussion with the panelists and audience centered on the reluctance of younger generations to take risks in dating and relationships. Many young adults, concerned about rejection, hesitate to engage in social interactions that could lead to meaningful partnerships. The event emphasized the importance of intentionality in dating, as many individuals meet their future spouses in their twenties. Encouraging risk-taking and proactive engagement in personal relationships was presented as essential for fostering future family life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Education, Work, and Marriage as Pathways to Success<\/b><\/h3>\n

The conversation underscored the interconnectedness of education, work, and marriage in achieving stability and prosperity in America. School choice was explored as a potential mechanism for improving educational outcomes for children, while cultural institutions like universities and churches were discussed as influential forces shaping societal values. The discussion called for collaboration among various institutions to promote a cultural shift toward stronger family structures.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Audience<\/p>\n

Marriage and Same-Sex Couples<\/b><\/h3>\n

The event also addressed marriage within the LGBTQ+ community, noting that married same-sex couples generally experience better well-being than their unmarried counterparts. However, since only half a percent of the general population are same-sex parents, research on the long-term effects of same-sex parenting on children remains inconclusive. Some studies suggest that children raised in same-sex households may face unique social and emotional challenges, particularly concerning biological parental connections.<\/span><\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/b><\/h3>\n

The lecture provided a comprehensive examination of marriage and family in America, shedding light on cultural, religious, and ideological influences that shape relationships today. As societal institutions continue to evolve, discussions like these remain crucial in understanding the forces impacting the future of American families.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can read more about the event in the <\/span>Furman News<\/span><\/a>, a<\/span>nd watch Part 1<\/a> and Part 2<\/a> of “The American Family” on our YouTube channel.<\/span><\/p>\n

Join us for the Tocqueville Center\u2019s ‘s upcoming events this March and April. On <\/span>March 25-26<\/b><\/a>, we will discuss \u201cAmerica\u2019s Role in the World.\u201d Sergey Radchenko (Johns Hopkins) is the Wilson E. Schmidt Distinguished Professor at the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies. His most recent book is <\/span>To Run the World: The Kremlin\u2019s Cold War Bid for Global Power<\/span><\/i> (2024). Susan Shirk (University of California, San Diego) is a research professor at the UC San Diego School of Global Policy and Strategy and director emeritus of its 21st Century China Center. Her most recent book is <\/span>Overreach: How China Derailed Its Peaceful Rise<\/span><\/i> (2022).<\/span><\/p>\n

These events feature esteemed speakers and foster insightful discussions on pressing issues in politics, history, and society.<\/span> We hope you will join us for these engaging conversations!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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