December 1999
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Scott Murr
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What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?
Simplifying
the Christmas Season
A column by David E. Shi.
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InsideFurman is published monthly during the school year by the Furman University Department of Marketing and Public Relations. For story ideas, e-mail John Roberts, editor.
Gifts of the Season
By Judith Chandler
Associate Director, Continuing Education
As this joyous season beckons — alluring commercials, magnificent music, multi-generation family gatherings — I would like to share with you two stories that helped transform Christmas for my family.
It was 1987 and for the first time as a mother I was faced with the prospect of spending Christmas Eve without any of my children. Well, I got my nose thoroughly out of joint. But then a kind acquaintance suggested "an attitude of gratitude," and we got hooked on working our way through the holidays at a local food bank in Athens, Ga., where I lived at the time. Greenville, likewise, is such a giving community that there are waiting lists to serve on Thanksgiving and Christmas days.
Last year we were the last family to "make the cut" to serve at Red Lobster, where hundreds of people were served or delivered take-out turkey. This year the restaurant’s volunteers fed 2,100.
Now at holiday season, my kids don’t ask, "What time is dinner?" Rather, they inquire, "What time is our shift?" and, "May I bring two friends along?" While there are people truly hungry, squabbling over white or dark meat is irrelevant.
Another community gift is scheduling the donation of platelets at the Carolina Blood Bank. This giving, literally the gift of life, requires only two hours (of perfect peace and solitude), plus they have a great selection of current movies to enjoy.
A couple of years ago, our family owned up to a winter of pinched purses. We mutually agreed not to give gifts that year, not draw names or "go in together," just a reciprocal agreement that we all had enough on our plates and in our cupboards. We all did sneak around and produced tiny, thoughtful presents — gifts of love. But we all abided by the rules: no post-Christmas MasterCard bills, no parking lot traumas, just the joy of thoughtful tokens of love all around.
We don’t even think in terms of shopping days till Christmas, and in the process, we have also given ourselves the precious gift of time. We have developed the holiday habit of what we choose to do, not what we have to do. This year on my short list are the following: a hook for my momma’s "stick," a CD for one son, a gorilla in a purple hat for my daughter (it’s an inside joke), and lots of hand-made angels for friends’ trees, all angels with wings and high-top tennis shoes ’cause it’s a season of joy.
The holidays do not have to be a stressful, disappointing or frazzled time. We don’t have to purchase any presents, attend any office reception, organize any family gathering, or concoct the hallowed cranberry salad. We do have the choice to do any of the above; and we have the choice to do so with grace and style or to decline serenely, being aware of the consequences. I have to remind myself daily and especially during the holidays of the simple admonition: "Before I can care for anyone or anything, I must first take good care of myself." The secret is to give without giving out.
And finally, the greatest gift of all, the true meaning of the season: If we keep foremost in our minds and hearts the gift of life itself in all its wonder, everything else falls magically into place. Happy holidays and God bless you, each and every one.